"Arrrgh" is The New Black

Alternate titles for this blog:
"Newscat Walter Cronkat Goes Deep Undercover to Expose Hardships for Feline Pirates"

"Walter Cronkat Reveals Wounds from Fearless Exploration of 'It's All Fun and Games' Hypothesis"

"Cronkat's Vow to 'Keep an Eye' on 2016 Election Turns Tragic after Literal Interpretation of Cliché"

As many of you know, I have a kitty named Walter who is pretty much my best pal. In fact, if you know almost anything about me from the past two years, you likely know more than you could ever want to about Walter and his many talents. Walter recently was diagnosed with cancer and had to get his eye removed to avoid it spreading. Because Walter has impacted my life in such a big way and, in turn, impacted people I interact with, I wanted to explain the situation before I posted pictures of him rocking his new look online.

So, here's both the quick version, as well as the step by step process for those who are curious or have pets of their own and want more info about catching this in time.
Note: There will not be super graphic images in the step by step process, but it will show him after his surgery with some swelling, bruising, and stitches. The sample pics on google images are super intense and I hope this brings some peace to someone looking for a less severe case.

The Quick Version:
After a tiny black fleck of pigment on his eye seemed to grow slightly, I took Walter into an animal ophthalmologist who was recommended by our wonderful vet. On August 15th, he was diagnosed with early Iris Melanoma in his right eye. The spot was too close to the edge of the iris to be removed with a laser, and once the melanoma spreads outside of the eye, the prognosis is grim and often fatal. We determined his best chance was to remove the eye and scheduled surgery for the end of August.


Step by Step Process:
Without diving too far off the emotional cliff of no return, Wally has been my rock through some of the biggest challenges of my life. We've survived six separate moves in multiple cities and states. When I'm sick, he gathers all of his favorite toys and sets them next to me in bed. When someone walks by outside, he runs to the door and growls. He's pretty much always been there for me, even if I didn't need him, even if I'm just trying to shower in peace.

After getting the diagnosis from the ophthalmologist, he said that the next few weeks would likely be tougher on me than on him. We could make sure his pain was managed and once he was healed, his changed vision would have little to no impact on his life, but understanding what's happening and watching the process can be pretty rough. Luckily we had phenomenal vets and support from family and friends to get through to the other side.

Diagnosis:
Here's a progression of his eye over a year and a half. Perhaps overkill with detail, but I want to emphasize how small these changes can be.
January 2013: No pigmentation.
December 2013: Beginning of pigmentation in corner of the eye.
March 2014: Pigmentation grows and changes shape.
August 2014: Pigmentation has gotten darker and larger.

Even though it grew quickly, it was pretty easy to dismiss as just a change in eye color or freckle and often, that's what they are. Because of the shape and how quickly it changed, I was lucky enough to catch it in time. When an Iris Melanoma begins to spread out of the eye, it builds up and becomes raised. Walter's melanoma was still flat on the eye at the time of surgery. This website gave good, non-gross information.

My vet at Blum Animal Hospital in Lincoln Park was able to determine that he needed to see the specialist based on me sending her the above pictures via email. This spared me that exam fee and allowed me to save for the ophthalmologist exam and then the surgery. Walter was concerned about the scarring's impact on his modeling career and demanded we go to a well recommended surgeon. Dr. Wasserman with Eye Care for Animals did both the examination and the surgery. Everyone from the receptionists and vet techs to the doctors themselves were absolutely phenomenal. As you can imagine, I was sort of a nervous wreck and both Dr. Baker (Blum Animal Hospital) and Dr. Wasserman (Eye Care for Animals) called multiple times after his surgery to see how both of us were doing and make sure he was healing well. I was very impressed by their professionalism, compassion and quality.

Surgery:
I was offered the option to have them insert a prosthetic globe into the space where his eye was, so as it healed the area wouldn't cave at all. This is more common with dog enucleation (eye removal) than with cats, where it sometimes rejects and requires another surgery and more stress to the animal. The implant is entirely cosmetic, and is more for the owner's comfort than anything else. While the prosthetic rejecting is highly unlikely, the off chance of putting him through another surgery and spending another thousand or two seemed worth avoiding.

I dropped him off in the morning and was set to pick him up around 4:30pm. Enucleation is a pretty simple day surgery and then he was given pain meds to take as needed and preventative antibiotics twice a day. In the event that I ever have children who are acting out, I will have them attempt to administer liquid antibiotics to an angry cat, so they know what actual hell would be like if they don't get it together.

A few hours after surgery, Walter is in conical prison. While he cannot walk or eat normally, he can silently plot the murder of his owner with extreme detail.

Recovery:
Walter did not handle the cone thing well. After two days of struggling to eat, move and not going to the bathroom (Like at all. I think he was protesting), we called the emergency vet to see if we could free him from the cone of shame. He said as long as we kept a close eye on him (unfortunate phrasing) we could let him have extended breaks.

After we switched to only putting the cone on when I had to be gone for hours at a time, he started massively improving and getting back to his normal self. Within three days he was able to get back to snuggling with his brother Henry, eating and playing normally, and going back to our sleep routine of sharing a pillow with me, while Henry sleeps on my feet. 

After 10 days of antibiotics and two weeks of healing, he was able to get his stitches removed. He's had a great recovery and is currently working on growing fur over shaved areas (surgical site and the IV spot on his legs) before he's ready to get back to the news desk, but we're hoping he'll be completely healed and fuzzy again by October. I recently got the biopsy results and the spot on his eye was confirmed as a melanoma, but hadn't yet spread to the inside of the eye. This along with the pre-op labs all coming back normal indicates that he is officially cancer-free and can get back behind the news desk for a long and fulfilling career as America's first cat news anchor.

        Walter would now like me to wrap this up as he has some serious concerns about the latest draft of this script.

Massive thanks to my parents, my fabulous manager/company for allowing me to take the time off to be around him after the surgery, friends who stopped by and checked in, and all of my cat rescue writer friends for the advice and support throughout the transition. The Chicago chapter of the Violette family is terribly grateful for all of you.

How to Move to Chicago or A List of 10 Things I Learned the Hard Way

A little over four months ago, I moved from Duluth, Minnesota, a city in northern MN with a small but devoted artistic community, to the place I've planned on living for the past five years, Chicago. I knew this transition would be challenging, specifically since this would be the first time I would be living without a car since I was sixteen and can't navigate my way out of a paper bag without Google Maps. I asked people who had made the jump from UMD to the big city before, looked up as much as I could to be prepared and managed to find a job to pay the bills before I moved out, but I tried my best to let go of trying to prepare myself and let myself take things as they come once I arrived. That being said, I'm now in the position of filling in current grads-to-be about my experience moving out and I thought I'd gather some of my thoughts in one place for people check out and add to with their own experiences. Here are some tips that I found out along the way and a few things I wish I had known before hand.

1. Get a Smart Phone, get a data plan. 

If this is at all a financial possibility for you, I can't recommend it highly enough with the amount of free apps, easy access to checking your email (which you should roughly every hour or two as an actor) and ability to stay in contact through all sorts of mediums with friends and family back home. I know some people (myself included) ask for help with cellphone bills for Christmas or birthday gifts, some stay on family plans but pay their portion of the bill to deal with cost. I know it can be draining and isolating to constantly be plugged in to social media and the pressures of responding to work related stress, but I think the benefits outweigh the challenge of exercising self control.

2. Call up old friends, rely on any connection you make and be willing to network.

Everyone who has moved out here, myself included, have described the at times overwhelming feeling of loneliness that creeps in after the excitement of the new city wears off. Personally, I felt like I was randomly cast into a giant city that no one was rooting for me to succeed in, and, I suppose, it was kind of true for the simple reason that no one really knew me yet. Checking in with old friends and family to remember you're loved and wanted and making someone proud by getting out of bed in the morning can help keep you afloat during the more challenging times. That being said, you want to get out and meet new people to establish that support system in your new home. I had the unfortunate experience of meeting one or two less than awesome humans right away, but along the way of that I found some pretty neat people as well. In my experience, people want to help other people, even if they just met them. It's amazing the things you find people will help you with if you just ask.

3. Trust your gut feeling about what's right or wrong and pay attention to your surroundings.

The larger the city and the higher ratio of poverty, the more crime will naturally exist, that's just factual. The biggest adjustment I had to make was that you can't trust that desperate and selfish people won't take advantage of your kindness or trust. There's tons of considerate and trustworthy people who would never betray or hurt you, but it's hard to tell the two apart right away. Of course there's the obvious ways to protect yourself and your property, but here are a few things I wasn't aware of before moving here. Pay active attention to which train you're getting on, crossing the street with the light (because cars WILL hit you and then yell at you for it), holding your phone close to your body and with a tight protective grip if texting in public to avoid it getting grabbed, have your purse, wallet and phone on you even if you're at a friends house or small party and GET A GOOD BIKE LOCK. You absolutely NEED a solid metal bar bike lock, not the chain kind. People will cut it no matter how protected you think it is. In my first two months here, I had my phone, ID, bike and $340 stolen. And most of those were in separate instances where I felt comfortable and safe.

4. Establish a strong, appealing online presence and tell everyone about it.

You'll hear over and over again to make sure to watch what you post on the internet and delete any inappropriate pictures/posts. This is, of course, true but kind of obvious at this point. I strongly suggest making a solid, professional website for your acting/design/writing and sharing the hell out of it. Put it into every email you send, every resume, frequently post it on FB and twitter. Put yourself out there or else no one will ever see you. Personally, I use the host website, Weebly, to make my page and then paid for the domain for two years. I've heard a lot of people prefer Wix to Weebly, but I purchased my domain before finding out about Wix, so, I can only speak to my personal experience. While it seems like other host sites might offer more options, as someone who was just starting out with web design and didn't have a massive amount of traffic going to the website, I thought Weebly was very use friendly and had most of what I needed.

5. Learn how to talk about yourself and your art with objective confidence.

I talk out loud to myself a lot when I'm alone, probably a habit from living alone for the last few years. I practice ways to describe myself, my work and what I'm passionate about in unique and interesting ways. Truth is, I have a lot of anxiety, specifically social anxiety. Onstage, I can be in front of ten people or ten thousand, but talking to people at a party kind of makes me want to dig a hole and die in it. Networking feels gross and terrible and false and contrived a lot of the time, so find ways to make it more comfortable. Being uncomfortable is unfortunately not an excuse for the successful and if I want to make something of myself, I have to find a way to make it work. If you're an actor, try creating a character very similar to you that represents your best self, this doesn't mean you're "faking" anything, you're just not allowing anxiety or discomfort to control your decisions.

6. Get physically healthy.

Note that I didn't say skinny. If healthy means skinny for you, then stellar, skinny is just as valuable as every other body type when it comes to performing. Exercise and eat food that gives you energy. Working eight hour days and then auditioning and then coming home to write a script and trying to stay in healthy shape is exhausting, your body needs the nutrition and fuel to get through it. Learn to cook, learn to grocery shop effectively for both nutrition and budget, pack your lunch as much as you can. Be good to yourself or you will feel it. It's said that the habits you develop in your twenties as you're first fully on your own, are the habits the stick with you for the rest of your life. This is a great time to build up parts of your life that have nothing to do with your career and meet new people outside your career that can help you feel fulfilled when work stuff isn't going so hot.

7. Get emotionally healthy.
I spent the majority of my college career being certain I wouldn't be able to succeed in the professional world because of my height and weight, so much so that I actually was pretty sure that I was going to quit performing during the fall semester of my senior year. This had nothing to do with my love for performing or dedication to the craft, nor my ability to handle rejection, it was more a voice in my head that I had convinced myself was the "truth" I didn't want to face. I amplified this by allowing myself to stay in bad relationships and unsupportive friendships and it only echoed the fallacies I had created to stay in the immobile comfort that insecurity is. I had gotten to the point that I thought the more something hurt or was challenging, the more "real" it was, reality is harsh and everything else is trying to convince yourself of something people tell you to not hurt your feelings. This is not reality, it's a defense mechanism. It is still an active practice for me to shut out that voice, but this has become as much of my exercise routine as any treadmill. While I was expending energy on needlessly tearing myself apart to try to be "honest" with myself, I was wasting time to build up the confidence it takes to be amazing. And yes, there might be people who are thinner/taller/curvier/blonde/petite/whatever you make yourself crazy over, there's a whole world of talented, lovely people. Amazing is about finding your talents and unique qualities, fine tuning them and advocating for your "product", you. Get passionate about how awesome you are and others will too.

8. Finding an apartment: Save up as much money as possible, budget, work your day job.
When I went to Chicago to apartment hunt, I didn't know much about the neighborhoods apart from a few conversations with friends who had moved there and some googling. I used the service Chicago Apartment Finders and I absolutely loved it. They sat down and looked at specific neighborhoods, needs (# of bedrooms, parking, allows animals, onsite laundry, distance from the train, dishwasher, etc.) and the budget we were working with and gave us a list of a few apartments that fit all of the categories. We found a place we liked, a two bedroom apartment in a safe neighborhood (Ravenswood) with a spacious living room, all wood floors, dishwasher, allowed pets, was relatively close to a train and had onsite laundry, and rent was within our budget. CAF charged us a small finders fee, but get more of their payment from the landlords, a portion of our first months rent. Something that should be known ahead of time is that Chicago doesn't do security deposits as often anymore, it's more common to find a non-refundable, one time "Administrative Fee". Here was the total of our initial expenses to find an apartment:

Travel Costs (airplane, free housing): $165
First Month's Rent: $600
CAF Finders Fee: $65
Administrative Fee: $275
Pet Fee: $200
Total: $1,315

Additionally, we were asked to provide both work and previous landlord references, background checks, bank statements, and "proof of assets" since we didn't have a job before we moved to the city. I recommend at least saving up $2000 to get the initial housing and as close as you can get to $2000 for the first month or two AFTER first month's rent is paid ahead of time, so you can have living expenses and cushion room for the random expenses of moving to a new city and getting set up from scratch.

9.  Audition as much as possible.
There's the stuff you hear a lot like don't type cast yourself, audition for lots of things even if you're not sure you'd be good for it since it's the directors job to cast and your job to show up. I completely agree with this and of course you're not going to show up to an audition for a musical if you are absolutely not a singer or dancer, don't audition for roles specifically for an age, race, height, gender requirement that you do not meet. That's obvious. In any other case, always audition if possible. In Chicago, the system is to submit your headshot/resume directly to theaters and they will invite you for a specific audition slot if they're interested in seeing you. In this sense you kind of become your own agent. I use the League of Chicago Theatres website most often and have found all of the jobs and auditions I've had through them. I've heard through the grapevine that Backstage doesn't really have work for Chicago people, mostly NY and LA. This is only the experience of those I've spoken with who have it, so I can't give personal advice, but it was enough for me to not sign up for it.

A lot of college programs will tell you to "Slate" before an audition. This happens in college and you should do what they ask for, in the professional world unless you're in a massive cattle call (In which case you'll have a number and they don't really care about your name as much), the stage manager will hand the director your headshot/resume (that has your name on it, of course) and here's how the conversation usually takes place:

(Stage manager hands H/R to director)

Director: Hi, Caity-Shea, what do you have for us today?
Me: Hi, I've got a monologue from {insert show title here} by {insert playwright here}.
Director: Great, whenever you're ready.
(I do the monologue)
Me: Thanks!
Director: Thanks for coming in, have a good day!
Me: You too! {insert some small hopefully charming comment like "Stay Warm!" if it's winter or something like that}

(I leave)

Very quick. Way more casual. Way less awkward.

Ideally, I look at auditioning as ONLY a way to share work that I'm excited about with an audience willing to listen. Don't go in looking for the job, directors and playwrights can smell that a mile away and it puts them in the uncomfortable position of feeling like they're breaking up with you if they don't cast you. You want them focusing on your work, not making you feel good, so the more you come in looking to Share vs Receive, the more comfortable everyone will be and I guarantee you, the happier and more successful you will be as well.

10. Those who are determined to accomplish great things don't wait for opportunities, they create them.
It's a fact that you will hear "no" more often than "yes". Let's all take a second to deal with that. Great. So, there will be some down time in your career that you'll want to act or write or direct or whatever in and there is no reason on earth that you can't.  You can get together with your friends and write a short film script and record it on your iPhone and post it online to a free website you created. You can write a show and perform it on a street corner or play an instrument in a train station with a hat in front for money (with proper street artist licensing). There's a million other ways that you can create your own opportunities and you MUST.  Not should. Must. The ability to independently hone your craft and create art is the only certainty one has in this industry and you need to develop that skill so you are always moving forward and have something to share. Then, when you happen to run into an artistic director or playwright or director that you know and they ask "So, what are you working on now?", "Well, I'm auditioning" is never the right answer. Always have something to keep you moving forward and you'll always be moving forward. Allow yourself to wait in the background and you will be forgotten. We are all too smart, talented, determined, and hardworking to say that you don't have opportunities. Make them and use them as bridges to the next job.

Additionally, here are some great gadgets/apps I think you should know about!
-External Charger: a portable external charger that you charge up at home and slip into your purse/pocket so if your phone dies and you needed google maps to get home or an app to find a car to take you there, you're never stranded.
-Lyft: this is a donation based taxi service run by a reputable company that allows you to request a ride and it will pinpoint your location, then a driver will answer the call (if they're available) and you will be sent a message with their picture and a picture of their car. When the car arrives it will always have a big, pink, fuzzy mustache on the front of the car or on the dashboard so you know it's a Lyft. While you can pay anywhere from $1-$1000, they will give you a suggested donation and they more money you pay, the higher of a rating you have. Drivers don't have to answer any specific call, so if you have a really low rating, they will be less likely to pick you up. Make sure to google the $10 off code for your first Lyft! It only works on your first one and you pretty much never get other coupons aside from that, so make sure to take advantage of it!
-Peapod: an online grocery delivery service that offers $20 off coupons for your first order, free delivery for the first 60 days (after which it's only $6.95 per order) and allows you to look at all of the items on sale on one page so you don't have to hunt for bargains. They also carry all of your groceries up to your door so I can order all of my kitty litter, juice, 12 packs, laundry soap, etc. and not have to carry it on the train or bus. Peapod is definitely one of the best things about this entire city.
-GrubHub: This is usually pretty expensive, but works in a pinch. They'll sometimes have coupons that make it a little more affordable, but I would mostly use this service when you're super hungry, have no food and no way to get more food. Or if you're drunk and want tacos. Either one.
-Always google coupons! Sometimes you'll find really good deals. Uber and SideCar are two additional car services that are cheaper and safer than taxis, but don't give you the donation option and are a little more expensive than Lyft. All of these services have coupons for your first ride (usually your first ride ONLY), however, and Uber and Sidecar sometimes have additional coupons for holidays or special promotions.

Hope this helps! Please let me know if you have any other questions and I'd gladly offer my experience. Most of all, remember that you can do this. Let me say that again. YOU CAN DO THIS. One more time. YOU CAN DO THIS. All of it is 100% attainable and the greatest opportunities in life are given to those who show up. So, if you're interested in moving anywhere for your career, please take advantage of the ability to be young and not tied down anywhere and try it out. I promise no matter how it turns out, you'll be better for the journey.

CS